Inspiration is like water. It flows all on its own, and while it's possible to dam it up and slow it down, it's better to let it do what it does. Flow. I know that if I use it as it comes along, there will always be more right behind it. There always has been. In an Inspirational Rainy Season, it might be hard to keep up with the floods that sometimes happen, and now and then there will come a drought, when I wonder if I'll ever see another drop of Inspiration again. I always do though. Always. I know I can rest in the dry seasons, trusting that the Flow will return. When it does, and I use it, it just keeps coming. If I don't use it, it diverts itself to some other outlet, because it depends on us, all of us, for expression. There's an endless supply, so the best thing is to just turn on the Inspirational Faucet, and leave it running.
Today is Tuesday. I'm leaving for Mexico on Thursday. I have a million things to do, but on Sunday I was swept away by a new bead idea that would not wait until I come back from my trip. I spent the day in the studio, and much of the evening. I tried everything that came to me. Some of it worked. Some didn't. But by the time I had cleaned everything up on Monday morning, I knew I was onto something. I call them HeartStones, and I think you're going to like them as much as I do...
I live in the desert, and I'm going to spend a week by the ocean. That's got to be a good thing for body, mind, heart & soul, and yes, for Inspiration. I'm leaving the Faucet running while I travel. I'll have a camera and a notebook with me at all times, and when I come back, I'll be ready to splash around in the studio again. Usually when I go on vacation, I have to be dragged off the beach when it's time to go home, but this time it might be Inspiration that lures me home. What a surprise. What a lovely surprise...
Please email your address to me so I can send you your bead! I'm leaving for Mexico early Thursday morning, so might have to send this to you when I get back. If you see this and get right back to me, I'll send it off before I leave.
Congratulations! And thanks everyone for participating! We'll do it again in February. Every blog comment and every new mailing list subscriber will be added to the drawing. Starting... now!
This is what's caught my attention today. I have several more in the kiln, and might share some of them in a day or two, but the one on the right is mine... It will remind me to get out of the way, stop complicating things, and keep it simple. The simpler the better when it comes to beads like these. Enough is just right.
The Official 2012 Bead Project turns out to be nothing like I had first imagined. The only rule is No Rules, and in fact, it isn't even a project. By the powers vested in me, I hereby give myself permission to make whatever I want to, even if it's flowers, and even if it's not. I also agree to consult the Divine Universe on a regular basis, to be sure I'm listening with my eyes and hands and heart more than with my mind and bank account. And, furthermore, I promise only to make beads when making beads makes me happy, so you'll always feel the love when they come to live with you. Happy New Year. Hallelujah. Let's make beads.
The countdown to Mexico has started. A week from today we'll be sitting on the beach, sipping tasty beverages, and celebrating two of our three kids' birthdays. Yeah, it's hard to concentrate on beads right now, but I'm doing my best. I'll post a few over the weekend, and then close up the BeadShop on Tuesday and mail everything before we leave. I'll also draw a winner for the Bead Giveaway on Tuesday. I realize I haven't posted a picture of the prize yet. Hm. So distracted. Maybe tomorrow.
I think we all go through periods of struggle. Maybe it comes from thinking too much. Maybe it comes from doing too much. For me, sometimes I just hit overload, and have to shut everything down and restart after a bit, just like my computer. If I force it, everything gets glitchier and glitchier, until nothing at all works. Eventually, the shut down and restart is no longer an option, but a necessity.
There's always a tipping point. For me, this time, it was that miserable failure of a meal I cooked last night that sent me over the edge, and shut me down. (You can read about it on PositivelyVegan.) Suddenly, everything I've been doing lately seemed like one big mess to me. And I know it was because I've been over-thinking all of it. This thing with the beads... to make flowers or to not make flowers, to commit to a project or abandon all goals. The need to figure it all out made it impossible to figure any of it out. And in the over-thinking of something so simple as dinner, I did myself the favor of tripping the overload switch.
Last night I read a short interview with artist, Agnes Martin. I am not a fan of her paintings. I don't understand them. The ones I've seen are stripes. Blue and white stripes on large canvasses. Just... stripes. But something she said in the interview got through to me. When asked how her painting was going several years ago, when she was in her 90's and painting in Taos, she said, "I am lost in blue..." When I read that, I knew it was time to go back and have another look at those paintings.
I got up this morning and declared it Field Trip Tuesday. I sent Rick off to work, closed my computer without so much as a backward glance to Facebook or email, and drove into town, to visit the Harwood Museum. Once inside, I walked straight back to the Agnes Martin room, where there are seven large blue and white striped paintings, hung on white walls.
I took a deep breath. I took my time. I walked slowly from one to the next, looking from far away, and from up close. I answered a text message. I looked at the brush strokes. I took my own picture. I walked around the room again. I stalled. I resisted. Finally, I sat down in the center, and just looked... for a long time.
I didn't expect anything, but I hoped for some kind of message to come through. And eventually, gradually, I began to get lost in the blue of one particular painting. I put down my phone and got out my notebook, where I wrote:
And even with this, I might be totally off, but since this was the message I got, it was right for me. Imagine the freedom to paint "with her back to the world." Imagine following a thread of inspiration as far as it will lead. Imagine having the ability to block out what anyone else might have to say, and to do the work, simply because it wants to be done.
I am suddenly smitten with Agnes Martin. She died in 2004, so I will never get to meet her. But inspiration and encouragement can certainly come from someone who is no longer in this world. I'm finding strength in her strength, and for that, I want to hug her, although I think she probably wouldn't like that very much.
Where to from here? I'm the last one to have that answer, and maybe also the last one to ask the question. I do know that while I'm "shut down," for the rest of Field Trip Tuesday, I'm not going to pay any attention to what anyone else "thinks" I should do. My back is to the world, at least for a little while. I still don't get the striped paintings, but I do get being lost in blue.
Meet Agnes Martin in the following two short videos. I love them both.
“The saving of our world from pending doom will come, not through the complacent adjustment of the conforming majority, but through the creative maladjustment of a nonconforming minority.”
~ Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr ~
I love that quote. I find it comforting. I'm sure he didn't mean it to apply specifically to artists and vegans, but I imagine we're included, because the Reverend Doctor was a most inclusive sort of guy. I'm taking his words in today, and feeling the love. I'm letting it be okay, and even preferable to be my creatively maladjusted self. What a relief. From here I can do my job. From a place of trying to fit in with what's "normal"... well, nothing gets done.
I still have no definitive decision regarding the Flower Beads. As much as I want to turn the idea of A Year Without Flowers into a project, I'm not sure I have the stamina, or the passion it takes to do, or not do, something for an entire year. Anything less seems... weak. To me anyway. Blah, blah, blah. Living in my head can be exhausting.
It's taken me half a month to get around to doing a Bead Giveaway. I really do intend to do this every month, and maybe next month I'll be better organized. This time around, we have only about a week to do this, because I'm going to Mexico on the 26th. I don't know what the prize is yet. Hmmm, maybe one of those Flower Beads in my stash. Yes. That's it. I'll post a pic later. For now, if you want to win, just leave a comment on this blog, or my other one, PositivelyVegan. To keep it fair, just leave one comment per post, but you can comment on as many older posts as you like, and you can comment on both blogs every day. The other way to enter is to sign up for my mailing list. If you've done that since the last Giveaway, I've already got you in the contest. I did think that far ahead! So now, comment away. And the more thoughtful, the better.
I have an ulterior motive in this. Well, two actually. I love to see the discussions that happen here when you all open up and join in. I love the sense of community. I love that you begin to get to know each other. I love the connection. That's coming from my "change the world" side. My "a girl's gotta make a living" side wants hits and comments to my blogs because it makes them more visible to search engines. On a good day I'll get around 100 hits to this blog, and maybe 40 to the other one. "Real Bloggers" get 10,000 hits and upward in a day... I'll probably never be Real, but that's okay. I promise to stay creatively maladjusted, and to keep trying to make the world a better place for all of us to live. I have beads, food, and love to offer, and that's a pretty good place to start.
